Chemo Day

Wow today was not such a good chemo day.  Emotionally it really took a toll on me today.  The nurses made me leave the room while they accessed Ellie's port today and I could hear her screaming for me.  The reason they had to ask me to leave was because Ellie was fighting, screaming, and crying.  So they have been hoping this will help.  Not so much for me.  Ellie refused to talk to me after this.  She wouldn't even look at me today.  I did do everything possible not to tear up in the lobby but it was impossible not to cry.  I just can't do anything right in her eyes. 
It was nice for my mother because Ellie bonded a little more with her.  We are now home and she is still very mad at me.

While we were in the hospital I met a young man who has been going to childrens for 17 years and receiving chemo.  I could not imagine.  I also met another little girl were the cancer has come back 4 times.  It was a really emotional and draining day for me.  The best news of the day though we get two weeks off.  Wow two weeks, sounds so great.  She will have to go back in for a MRI scan.  Butt besides that we just have local doctor appointments.  woo hoo.  Two weeks no chemo.  It is a much needed break for me. This past round was the most difficult.