Exciting News for the Cuiching!!!!

​How do I make this announcement?
While we are ecstatic for our new adventures for our family we wish Ellie was here to share in the joy. 
I wanted to give some background on this exciting news and information.  Our family is growing to 5, yes 5 because although Elie is no longer with us she is and always will be huge part of our family.  How does this all come to, you ask?  When Ellie and Jake were younger Dave and I wanted a third child, but god had a different plan for us.  As my MS took affect and then Ellie got sick Dave and I at that point decided it would be selfish to have a child instead we dug down and focused on getting Ellie healthy.  After Ellie’s passing I was just talking out loud to my sister and said, “I really want another child, for so many reasons”. My sister’s response without even hesitating “I will carry it for you”. I was in shock and disbelief.  I knew with my MS carrying a child could get complicated although my Doctor did say she would pump me with steroids right after the baby was born and hopefully that would hold off the aftereffects that MS plays after having a baby.  With my sister offering this made more sense.
 
Now it was time to bring it up to Dave.  Keep in mind this was not that long after losing Ellie, but I knew that we had a small window as I was not getting any younger and time was a factor.  When I mentioned it to Dave he was hesitant and said no.  In Dave’s mind he was thinking you are trying to replace Ellie and in my mind I was adding to our family giving our son a sibling to bond with and have when we are no longer here.  Well, he pondered on it for a few weeks, and I dropped it thinking ok I guess it’s not going to happen. Then one day he came to me and said “Yes, let’s do it” I was in shock and disbelief because in my head I put the idea to rest.  
It was still not a done deal there were so many hoops to jump through.  First we Started with talking with our son.  He expressed several times he didn’t want to be an only child, but was this just a phase? Was it because he lost his only sibling a few months prior?  We sat down with Jake and spoke with him about the idea and before we could finish explaining he was a resounding YES, YES, YES I want a brother or sister please.  Lots of talking happened explaining that it was not a done deal, and we would give it a try and see where it took us. We figured we would try and if god had it in the cards it would happen.  
 
The process didn’t stop there it was just the beginning, why am I going through this and explaining this because I want you all to know that none of this was taken lightly and we went through all avenues to make sure we were doing the right thing for us, our family, and our son.. 
 
With the help with my parents financially, insurance, and my sister offering this amazing gift things were on the way.  Before we could move forward lots of phycologist appointments, and social work appointments happened. Ones with Dave, Myself, & Jake, ones with just me, ones with Dave and I as a couple, ones with my sister and her husband.  You name it we wanted to check all boxes before starting the process. 
 
I then had to get approval from my neurologist, and she was a resounding yes.  Another part of the puzzle piece falling into place.  You might remember how I wrote that I met a young lady battling brain cancer in the doctor’s office and I felt Ellie’s presence well that encounter was at the fertility center.  At that point It felt right it felt like Ellie was giving us her blessing. Keeping this a secret and going through the process was probably the hardest part of everything, the injections, the doctors upon doctors’ appointments.  We ended up with 17 eggs. But then if you have gone through this process you would know that after a few days they call you and that number dwindles down so it ended up after 7 days 3 eggs made the cut, but Dave and I sent the eggs to be tested because we all too well knew that it was so important to help us have a healthy baby.  
 
Then the call comes in 3 weeks later and the results are in. The nurse calls and says, “you have 1 perfect egg.”  1 chance here, if it was meant to be, it was meant to be and if not god had a plan.  Now it was my sisters turn to begin the injections and if you know my sister you would know this was an enormous sacrifice she is so scared of shots that her husband would have to take the kids to the doctor to get the vaccines because she couldn’t be in the room.  
 
Then COVID hit and the process stalled. Kelli and I were wondering if this were ever going to happen. Our perfect embryo was sitting in a freezer just waiting for the elective surgeries to be allowed again.  And then the phone call happened, and it was time.  Kelli had to give the biggest sacrifice of not getting off the couch for two days after the procedure.  Was it going to take? The anxiousness of not knowing was killing all of us. We went in for our first appointment a few weeks later so far so good, but we were warned that this doesn’t mean her body would accept the embryo.  A few weeks later things where still fine and looking good.  Still hard to believe that this was all going to come together after trying and working on it Dave and I were very cautiously excited.  Then came the first Ultrasound.  I was not able to be there because of COVID but Kelli brought me the photo of this teeny tiny dot on the ultrasound with arrow that read Baby.  It was probably the first time that I felt such pure happiness since Ellie had passed. Is this going to be for real? Well then it was time for an important ultrasound the one that happens right before the 1st trimester ends.  Through the process we read that several surrogates go into this ultrasound and there is no heartbeat.  I was filled with mixed emotions as they let me go in with my sister. And then the Doctor says those magic words “Everything looks great”
What an amazing sense of relief and excitement.  
 
Why all the details?  Because a very select few have been told we were trying, and I had mixed reactions and lots of speculation and I do not want anyone to think we took this lightly or are trying to replace Ellie because there is no way anyone in this world could do that.  Ellie has put her mark on this world, and I will continue to keep her memory alive through the foundation and helping other families fighting cancer.  
 
So here we are 18 weeks along.  My Egg, Dave’s Sperm, Kelli’s (My sisters) Body and it’s all working out.  
 
I know that so many people will be happy for our family, but I also am very aware that I will have many people think negatively about this.  To those people I just ask you to think twice before placing judgement.  Until you have walked a day in my family’s shoes please do not judge.  I must say I never dreamt I would be here. If you asked me 3 years ago I would tell you that you were crazy I never wanted to start over.  But things and life happen and never say never.  
 
Jake is so excited, we told him we were going to announce the baby on Good Friday, and he couldn’t wait to spill the beans to a few of his friends.  I am going to keep on blogging the journey as it moves forward.  

Sent from my iPhone
On Apr 1, 2021, at 9:30 PM, Kyliew21 <[email protected]> wrote:


How do I make this announcement?
While we are ecstatic for our new adventures for our family we wish Ellie was here to share in the joy. 
I wanted to give some background on this exciting news and information.  Our family is growing to 5, yes 5 because although Elie is no longer with us she is and always will be huge part of our family.  How does this all come to, you ask?  When Ellie and Jake where younger Dave and I wanted a third child, but god had a different plan for us.  As my MS took affect and then Ellie got sick Dave and I at that point decided it would be selfish to have a child instead we dug down and focused on getting Ellie healthy.  After Ellie’s passing I was just talking out loud to my sister and said, “I really want another child, for so many reasons”. My sister’s response without even hesitating “I will carry it for you”. I was in shock and disbelief.  I knew with my MS carrying a child could get complicated although my Doctor did say she would pump me with steroids right after the baby was born and hopefully that would hold off the aftereffects that MS plays after having a baby.  With my sister offering this made more sense.
 
Now it was time to bring it up to Dave.  Keep in mind this was not that long after losing Ellie, but I knew that we had a small window as I was not getting any younger and time was a factor.  When I mentioned it to Dave he was hesitant and said no.  In Dave’s mind he was thinking you are trying to replace Ellie and in my mind I was adding to our family giving our son a sibling to bond with and have when we are no longer here.  Well, he pondered on it for a few weeks, and I dropped it thinking ok I guess it’s not going to happen. Then one day he came to me and said “Yes, let’s do it” I was in shock and disbelief because in my head I put the idea to rest.  
It was still not a done deal there where so many hoops to jump through.  First we Started with talking with our son.  He expressed several times he didn’t want to be an only child but was this just a phase? Was it because he lost his only sibling a few months prior?  We sat down with Jake and spoke with him about the idea and before we could finish explaining he was a resounding YES, YES, YES I want a brother or sister please.  Lots of talking happened explaining that it was not a done deal, and we would give it a try and see where it took us. We figured we would try and if god had it in the cards it would happen.  
 
The process didn’t stop there it was just the beginning, why am I going through this and explaining this because I want you all to know that none of this was taken lightly and we went through all avenues to make sure we were doing the right thing for us, our family, and our son.. 
 
With the help with my parents financially, insurance, and my sister offering this amazing gift things where on the way.  Before we could move forward lots of phycologist appointments, and social work appointments happened. Ones with Dave, Myself, & Jake, ones with just me, ones with Dave and I as a couple, ones with my sister and her husband.  You name it we wanted to check all boxes before starting the process. 
 
I then had to get approval from my neurologist, and she was a resounding yes.  Another part of the puzzle piece falling into place.  You might remember how I wrote that I met a young lady battling brain cancer in the doctor’s office and I felt Ellie’s presence well that encounter was at the fertility center.  At that point It felt right it felt like Ellie was giving us her blessing. Keeping this a secret and going through the process was probably the hardest part of everything, the injections, the doctors upon doctors’ appointments.  We ended up with 17 eggs. But then if you have gone through this process you would know that after a few days they call you and that number dwindles down so it ended up after 7 days 3 eggs made the cut, but Dave and I sent the eggs to be tested because we all too well knew that it was so important to help us have a healthy baby.  
 
Then the call comes in 3 weeks later and the results are in. The nurse calls and says, “you have 1 perfect egg.”  1 chance here, if it was meant to be, it was meant to be and if not god had a plan.  Now it was my sisters turn to begin the injections and if you know my sister you would know this was an enormous sacrifice she is so anti shots that her husband would have to take the kids to the doctor to get the vaccines because she couldn’t be in the room.  
 
Then COVID hit and the process stalled. Kelli and I were wondering if this were ever going to happen. Our perfect embryo was sitting in a freezer just waiting for the elective surgeries to be allowed again.  And then the phone call happened, and it was time.  Kelli had to give the biggest sacrifice of not getting off the couch for two days after the procedure.  Was it going to take? The anxiousness of not knowing was killing all of us. We went in for our first appointment a few weeks later so far so good, but we were warned that this doesn’t mean her body would accept the embryo.  A few weeks later things where still fine and looking good.  Still hard to believe that this was all going to come together after trying and working on it Dave and I were very cautiously excited.  Then came the first Ultrasound.  I was not able to be there because of COVID but Kelli brought me the photo of this teeny tiny dot on the ultrasound with arrow that read Baby.  It was probably the first time that I felt such pure happiness since Ellie had passed. Is this going to be for real? Well then it was time for an important ultrasound the one that happens right before the 1st trimester ends.  Through the process we read that several surrogates go into this ultrasound and there is no heartbeat.  I was filled with mixed emotions as they let me go in with my sister. And then the Doctor says those magic words “Everything looks great”
What an amazing sense of relief and excitement.  
 
Why all the details?  Because a very select few have been told we were trying, and I had mixed reactions and lots of speculation and I do not want anyone to think we took this lightly or are trying to replace Ellie because there is no way anyone in this world could do that.  Ellie has put her mark on this world, and I will continue to keep her memory alive through the foundation and helping other families fighting cancer.  
 
So here we are 18 weeks along.  My Egg, Dave’s Sperm, Kelli’s (My sisters) Body and it’s all working out.  
 
I know that so many people will be happy for our family, but I also am very aware that I will have many people think negatively about this.  To those people I just ask you to think twice before placing judgement.  Until you have walked a day in my family’s shoes please do not judge.  I must say I never dreamt I would be here. If you asked me 3 years ago I would tell you that you were crazy I never wanted to start over.  But things and life happen and never say never.  
 
Jake is so excited, we told him we were going to announce the baby on Good Friday, and he couldn’t wait to spill the beans to a few of his friends.  I am going to keep on blogging the journey as it moves forward.  

Jake asked if he could be part of the announcement because he is very excited!! I told him tot open his eyes and he said I can't I am asian so this is what I got.  He cracks me up.