Five Years Ago Today!

5 years ago today my body became crippled with pain when the Pediatrician told me Ellie had a brain tumor and needed immediate surgery to save her life.  I look back and wonder how I got threw these past 5 years.  It has been a roller coaster and I could not be prouder of how strong Ellie has become.  Today Ellie had an MRI and the nurse did the whole 1,2,3 before accessing her and she did not blink.  5 years ago, we needed 3 nurses, myself and my mom holding Ellie down as she was kicking and screaming the entire time.  We also had to put her under for an MRI.  Ellie now walks in does her thing and walks out like its nothing.  I also have come a long way.  I went from using my showers as my crying room to actually relaxing and enjoying showers.  I think I lived day by day five years ago and throughout the years I have gone from living week by week, to Month by Month, and now I live 10 weeks by 10 weeks.  This may not make sense but the only time I get nervous or scared is when we have an MRI review which is about every 10 weeks. So this is my 10-week mark where we review Ellie's MRI and see if we continue down this path that we have been on for over a year and half. 
Ellie has about five more months on this Chemotherapy treatment and as it gets closer I get both excited and nervous.  Wondering what the next chapter of our life has in store.  I’m pretty sure Ellie might be on chemo therapy the rest of her life because anytime she has stopped chemotherapy her tumor has grown, but there is always the hope and wish that the chemo therapy has done its job.  Only time will tell. So raise your glasses to Ellie we are celebrating 5 years of living.  I also thought I would attach one of the very first posts I put up on Facebook after Ellie was diagnosed.  Wish we didn’t end of being the 30%, but I know god has a plan.  This post is from the Day of Ellie's 1st Brain surgery. 
 
January 05, 2011
She has woken up and had an allergic reaction. I was strong during the surgery but now knowing that we will do it all again scares me. Good news they are 70% sure that it's not cancer but they won't know for sure for three days. Dave has been a rock through everything. I think I hit basket case tonight. It looks like it's going to be a very long night in the ICU. Thank you for everyone’s prayers. It means the world to me. We are just a step into a full journey.