wish I can split in half...

Halloween was fantastic.  The kids had a great time, Jake went as Shaggy from scooby doo, Bad Spider Man, and then a ghost.  He had many costum changes from his dress up drawer.  Ellie went as Daphne from Scooby Doo.  The kids started there day with there class parties, then we had lunch/playdate at a friends house, which was a great time for me to get out and actually socialize with adults.  We then finished the day off with some trick or treating with my parents and my sisters family.  It was a good day all around.    

As for today I would say it was a very busy but pretty good day.  Ellie had physical therapy today for her toe in leg.  Apparently this happens to some kids that take one of the chemotherapy drugs and it will just get worse through time.  So we are trying to get it early before it becomes extremely noticable.  The one problem we did have was during physical therapy she got hot and took off her sweater.  Her wig came off with the sweater and she just kind of looked at everyones reactions in the room.  I just tried not to make a big deal out of it and told her she was buetiful without it and she could finish therapy without it.  She did, I was so proud of her.  She then had tutoring today.  It was a long day but we completed our day off at my sisters to visit for a while with my aunts and grandparents. 

I would say the day ended on a very low note.  I had to put Jake to bed at my sisters house and thats when the water works began.  Jake just kept on crying he wanted to go home and he didnt want to stay there anymore.  My heart just broke.  I began to cry then because I just want him to understand its nothing he has done.  I explained that we leave really early in the morning and thats why he has to stay.  I also eplained a little into Ellie and what she is going through.  My heart hurts so bad that I have to leave him behind everyweek for a day.  I think it wouldnt be so bad if Ellie stayed with him then it wouldnt feel like he is being left out.  Little does he know he is just missing shots, exams, and laying in bed all day.  Not very much fun in my eyes.  I just wish I could split myself in two on wednesday so Jake wouldnt feel so alone.  As most of you know I am not a very over protective parent, but I do feel for him.  It's very interesting that we had this breakdown tonight seeing this morning I met with the social worker at school about Jake. 

Anyhow its time to get some rest because tomorrow is Chemo day and I have another emotional child to think about. Life can stop throwing me curve balls didnt life figure out I am not good at baseball.